IndiGlow - The Ordinary Illuminated

IndiGlow - The Ordinary Illuminated

Breadcrumbs and the Big Spinning Universe, Leading us to our Love

Monday, February 02, 2015


One Spring Monday, while teaching in New Hampshire, I asked my students what they had done over the break.  One student, a mop-haired kid with big, brown eyes and Muppet eye-brows, said he had gone home to Geneva.  


I didn't want to look stupid; teenagers already think their professors are stupid, but I thought he had gone to Switzerland.  That is how little I knew of Illinois, my current home state.


That mop-haired student was just one breadcrumb on the path that lead me to my husband.


I've been teaching (and dating) a long time.  I've seen many students go on dates.  I've seen them at faux study lessons.  I've seen same-gender couples embrace their identities and each others' hands.  I had a couple in my classroom get pregnant and subsequently confide in me their decision to terminate that pregnancy.  Not all dates end up the way you envision.   


Recently, a current student of mine told me about the Dating Rituals of the 21st Century Teenager, which includes following the Twitter account of the person you find attractive.  Not coffee, a movie, or a date at Lagomarcino's. (Ask me on a date and this is where we are going).  Nevertheless, apparently, if you find a person attractive, you go home and "like" the person's Twitter feed.  If they "like" your feed in return, then you move toward step two.  I can't say I get it. 


What I do get, what I do know is you have to get out there because the path has already been set.   


Breadcrumb 1:  My husband's first girlfriend was a petite red-head.  


Breadcrumb 2:  While I was growing up in Louisiana, and he was growing up in Illinois, we applied to the same colleges, and we didn't even have the same majors. 


Breadcrumb 3: While living in Atlanta I dated a guy from Minnesota, who grew up in Shaumberg, Illinois, and graduated from Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois.  


Breadcrumb 4:  Sometimes, on weekends, when my friends and I wanted to get out of Atlanta, we would drive up to Chattanooga, Tennessee, which was maybe a 90 minute drive.  Turns out my husband, whom I haven't met yet, is from Illinois, will know where Augustana is, and lives in Chattanooga.


I remember after he and I had been dating a while, I told him I would drive by his work on those weekend get-aways.  (He's practical and says to me it's a well-traveled thoroughfare), but really.....there's lots of well-traveled thoroughfares and I could have just as easily gone in any other direction for a get-away.  I drove past your work, dude.  I could have had a flat and needed to borrow your phone or your jack.  


It was already in the path.  We were traveling the same roads.


What I want you to believe, you of the Lonely Hearts Club, you that keeps trying and dating and changing your Facebook status, is that that person is out there traveling, living his or her life, creating experiences and leaving bread crumbs that will lead the two of you together.  Some of those breadcrumbs will be stale. Pigeons would be smart to kick them to the gutter.  That's okay.  You have to get out there.


The day before I met my husband, I did some extraordinary things.  I did them for myself.  I promise you those events, those experiences, which included a rock band's tour bus and a catwalk, created the person I was, the spirit I put forth on our first date.  


Do crazy things.  Not YOLO, but crazy things that make you uncomfortable, that make you a fuller human being, that create a grand spinning universe full of breadcrumbs, which sounds messy, but you get me.


I don't know about this 21st Century dating trend; I think you should go on dates, good dates, bad dates. I think you should talk in real time. I think you need to shake hands.  You need to ask about his mother and you need to ask about her father.  I asked my husband three questions on our first date.  I didn't need the answer.  I needed to hear the emotion behind the answer.


Ask questions.  Listen.  Look around.  The bread crumbs are there.  





 

Who's Howling

Saturday, January 26, 2013



...at the Full Wolf Moon tonight?


I love a Winters Full Moon more than any other, I think.  It could be that I was born in February in the snowy midwest, but when I really search my heart I know.

The moon is Yin energy:  quiet, cold, still, silver.  It is the opposite of its Yang counter-part, the Sun (which is roaring, hot, active, and golden.)  Winter herself is the energy of the Yin Goddess, so a Full Moon on a Winters Night is as Yin as it gets.  I want to be silenced by the peace of the cold, bright, beauty of her.  I want to dive into a silent retreat, immersed in introspection so that I can emerge in the Spring ready for personal growth and abundance.  

But within the very heart of Yin, is Yang. While she is shrouded in her quiet power her very heart burns with wild fire.  She looks out upon the attractive, fiery dance of Yang, but within his heart is Yin...dark & cold.  This eternal dance between the night and day, fire and ice, hot and cold preserves and sustains all of creation...of nature...what the yogis would call, Prakriti (and what we would refer to as "nature.")


How do we find that balance of these two energies within ourselves?  How do we acknowledge and accept both aspects instead of falling into the temptation to grasp to one way of being or the other?  We could just howl in agony over the pain this dilemma creates, or we could tune into the Wisdom of the Full Winters Moon, travel deeply within our own hearts, and through introspection explore the answers to these ancient questions.  

Wherever your path leads, may the light of the Full Wolf Moon shine brightly upon you tonight.  May you find the peace, wisdom, and compassion to unite both the Sun and the Moon within your heart.  May all beings be happy and free from Suffering.


Namaste,

IndigoGrrl

"God is in the Roses...

Saturday, January 12, 2013

...the petals and the thorns.

Storms out on the oceans; 

souls who will be born.  

And every drop of rain that falls, 

falls for those who mourn. 

God is in the roses and the thorns."


I heard this Roseanna Cash song for the first time about a year ago as I was driving to our Yoga Teacher Training program at Indigo on a Sunday morning.  I was listening to NPR and hadn't been paying much attention as my mind was busy and my heart was heavy...I don't remember what internal battle I was fighting on that particular day.  I have battled chronic depression my entire life...and while I have overcome so much of this disease there are days & moments when the weight of the world and the suffering of humanity (especially of my own loved ones) swallow me up whole.


But when this simple yet powerful song started to play,

I was instantly hushed -- suddenly I was fully present...alive...aware...surrendered...accepting...at peace in the moment.  Tears of release streamed down my face and as I took deep breaths in and out I found myself absorbing the essence of God and letting go of the hurt.  

It was a moment that made a lasting impression.  It didn't erase my struggles.  It reminded me that my struggles are part of the process.  God is with me in the easy moments and in the difficult moments.  When I remember to let go of my firm grasp on those thorns my pain is so much less severe.  A rose can rest in my palm...thorns and all and when I just give it space (not casting it aside nor grasping firmly...just allowing it to BE) I can become aware of the complete beauty of God.  


Awareness.  Discernment.  Surrender.  There's that Kriya Yoga theme popping up in my life again.  Hmm...


**Just a sidenote to clarify my points of view:  when I refer to God, I do not see a separate God between cultures.  I do not believe there is MY God & then there is YOUR God, and I don't even really assign or assume gender here, as I believe God is bigger than those human labels & understandings.

Whatever way in which you personally connect with this Divine Creative Source, I believe it is the same energy for all of us.  Part of our human experience is finding our own personal connection with God (or the Gods, or the Goddess...or the Sun, or the Universe) ...these are all aspects of that one Infinite Source, in my humble opinion.   





Practice, and Surrender?

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

We talk a lot about "surrender" in yoga.  Next time you're in class count how many times one of us instructs you to "let go."  (Just don't tell any of my instructors that I said so...ok?)
Does it ever feel more like the picture above (from a scene in the classic, "The Wizard of Oz") than the picture below when you really TRY to let go of something?  We're supposed to feel serenity...like being on the white sands near the ocean without any heavy thoughts holding us down.  Yet, living in our modern world with everyday demands and stressors can leave us feeling more like we should run and hide.  

I know.  I have those moments and those days too. 

But, the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali give some direction in the principles of Kriya Yoga:

"Within this practice we orient our attitudes toward the discernment (swadhyaya) to distinguish the things we can change (tapah) from the things we cannot change (isvara pranidhana.)"  -excerpt from the Introduction of "Yoga Anatomy, 2nd Edition," written by Leslie Kaminoff & Amy Matthews.

Sounds a lot like The Serenity Prayer, doesn't it?  
That's something most of us are more familiar with, which makes it easier to relate to.  
The short version goes something like, "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."  In essence, we are to give it to God...that which we cannot change or control we can release ourselves from by simply giving it to the Universe (Creative Source, the Divine...however you relate to that energy, no matter what you call it...it's all the same.)

Still, the white beaches WOULD be nice...but January here in the Midwest can serve as a backdrop to my inner bliss.  It just takes practice.  (lots, and lots, and lots and LOTS of daily practice)
Hmm...now where is my broomstick? 


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